Through the magic of the intertubes, it is possible to fly over strange and interesting places in the documented Googlesphere. Imagine my state of agitated astonishment when I caught a glimpse of this bit of futurist suburban planning in Denmark:
I'm sure the futurist that came up with that brilliant idea firmly believed that "by 2014, we'll all be living in communities like this!"
Okay. My first thought was: Fire. Followed closely by: Medical Emergency. Imagine the amount of spitting and swearing and delay if you're trying to explain to the 911 operator that yes, you can hear the sirens, but no you don't see the fire truck, so that means they must be in one of the adjacent doughnuts.
Then I tried to think about all the advantages to this kind of planning map. Like how wonderful it must be to be able to hear like a personal megaphone exactly what time each of your neighbors goes to work each morning. All 15 to 23 of them, as near as I can tell. And don't think they don't keep tabs on when you leave in the morning too. And when you get back. Cozy like family. Only maybe everybody rides around on a recumbent bicycle, because Denmark.
What were they thinking?! Perhaps the plan was based on this: "We don't know what we are for, but we know what we are against. We're against personal freedom, privacy, and the USA. So let's make something as not those as we can!"
The whole thing is near a golf course. Anything that has to do with golf gets infected by a kind of anti-evolutionary derpitude. Even when the golf is only nearby.
I must face facts. The little Dutch prairie dog people who live in these colonies would probably say they are happy, and that they count themselves lucky that at least they don't have to live in a Minecraft-on-LSD nightmare like MVRDV's "Stackable Sky Village" in Copenhagen. And yet...
And yet. The Stackable Sky Village apartments are an example of extreme architecture that nevertheless tries to create a space that fits the humans. I can't think of a context in which you could truthfully say that about the attempt to make the humans fit the spaces in Brøndby.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. Please note that it may take a while to turn the handle of the Crowndot moderation mill and spit out your comment.