1.) The water in the cup on the night stand turns into oil overnight, and if you drink it you turn into Frankenstein.
2.) The last tablespoon of milk out of the carton -- the one with the all the bubbles in it -- is poison.
3.) The potato chips with the green edges are poison.
4.) Mom said he could have the last piece of cake.
5.) The brown crayons are made out of poop.
6/14/2013
Role playing
On a good weekend, I am a Zen Archer. "Dungeons and Dragons" (Pathfinder, actually). That's right, role playing games. Some families play Monopoly. At Casa Crowndot, the whole family dons their imaginary personae, weapons, and feats, and move through a world full of creatures that want to take advantage of you, if not kill you.
Which is to say, it is not all that different from the rest of my life.
At work I frequently feel that I am playing a character who is not really me (and doing it rather clumsily). Since I lack the gene for telling consciousness to STFU and go with the flow, most social situations are like role playing to me (and I just rolled a one for sense motive).
Which is to say, it is not all that different from the rest of my life.
At work I frequently feel that I am playing a character who is not really me (and doing it rather clumsily). Since I lack the gene for telling consciousness to STFU and go with the flow, most social situations are like role playing to me (and I just rolled a one for sense motive).
6/13/2013
BMI physics
As little as I try to think about it, I do step onto the bathroom scale from time to time. Healthy lifestyle changes notwithstanding, I've been hovering at about the same weight since November 2011. At the same time, my waist size has decreased by about four inches.
This means, basically, that my mass / weight are the same, but my volume is decreasing.
I figure at this rate, by about the year 2313, I may collapse into a black hole.
This means, basically, that my mass / weight are the same, but my volume is decreasing.
I figure at this rate, by about the year 2313, I may collapse into a black hole.
6/09/2013
A Triptych of Tanka About Running
June 8 2013
I.
Hot red rubber track,
Four hundred meter repeats.
Best part of my run --
In suddenly clear focus:
A lizard on the sidewalk.
II.
On a predawn run,
Against the luminous sky:
An osprey hunting,
One wheeling white pelican,
A black line of cormorants.
III.
Cracked adobe trail,
Doing some miles in the hills.
Highlight of the run:
Up in the wind on the ridge,
Luminous stalks of dry grass.
[Tanka is a form of poetry that originated in Japan, in which the lines are arranged with a set number of syllables, in the form 5, 7, 5, 7, 7.]
I.
Hot red rubber track,
Four hundred meter repeats.
Best part of my run --
In suddenly clear focus:
A lizard on the sidewalk.
II.
On a predawn run,
Against the luminous sky:
An osprey hunting,
One wheeling white pelican,
A black line of cormorants.
III.
Cracked adobe trail,
Doing some miles in the hills.
Highlight of the run:
Up in the wind on the ridge,
Luminous stalks of dry grass.
[Tanka is a form of poetry that originated in Japan, in which the lines are arranged with a set number of syllables, in the form 5, 7, 5, 7, 7.]
6/08/2013
It must be the pinto pony genes...
I keep my hair short. Number 1 on the sides blending to Number 2 on top. If you know barber talk. Every two weeks.
Maybe it was the lighting, but when I cut it this morning, it looked like the "gray" (white) was a lot more extensively spreading from the right temple area than the left.
I'm not going bald -- I'm going piebald.
Maybe it was the lighting, but when I cut it this morning, it looked like the "gray" (white) was a lot more extensively spreading from the right temple area than the left.
I'm not going bald -- I'm going piebald.
6/06/2013
Plumber's Nightmare(s)
During one of Tuesday night's all-too-brief REM cycles the feature film of the internal Crowndot Cinema was broken plumbing. In the dream, some kind of viscid bog water was gurgling up from behind the refrigerator. It was purulent with a black, sooty cast to the bubbly surface. A great deal of active cleanup was called for, and the family members each had their own idea as to how to proceed. However, after application of instruments such as towels, shovels, and broken windshield-wipers, the area seemed to be clean and the hell-mouth closed. The dream ended as I retired from the scene ready for a hot bath, only to meet the evil discharge cascading down from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom -- and, the morning alarm sounds to rescue me from another episode of refreshing sleep.
A few hours later Tuesday morning I was drenched head to knee with hydraulic oil when I was not quite fast enough to tell a customer not to remove the quick-disconnect fitting from his broken ram. He was dropping it off at the shop for repair, but decided (while my back was turned) that he would get his trusty adjustable spanner and take the Q.D. coupler home Right Now. His ram was "Stuck" in the extended position, you see, and that model has an internal BFS (big freakin' spring) that sucks the rod back Right Now -- whether there's oil being pushed out or not -- once the Q.D. fitting started to come free. In this case, the fitting port being pointed at the service writer (me), the geyser emanated immediately in my direction: nasty, brutish, and fortunately of small volume. Of course the customer was very sorry. Of course I keep a spare uniform at work for such contingencies. Of course I don't want to talk about it.
This morning we had no water at Castle Crowndot. It took me a while, first thing in the morning, to realize what was going on. Why is the cold water flow just a trickle? Why is the hot water making horrid noises? Why is there a small quantity of brown rusty fluid coming out of the faucet? Then the brain kicks in: "We must not have paid the water bill," the brain says. Stupid brain. It turned out that there had been a water main break half a mile down the hill. We live in earthquake country, and take our prep seriously, so there is always stored clean water. Well, you still have to make like a soldier in the field, but it can be done.
And it is still a day and a half until the new moon. My luck is always better after the new moon... Ya think?
A few hours later Tuesday morning I was drenched head to knee with hydraulic oil when I was not quite fast enough to tell a customer not to remove the quick-disconnect fitting from his broken ram. He was dropping it off at the shop for repair, but decided (while my back was turned) that he would get his trusty adjustable spanner and take the Q.D. coupler home Right Now. His ram was "Stuck" in the extended position, you see, and that model has an internal BFS (big freakin' spring) that sucks the rod back Right Now -- whether there's oil being pushed out or not -- once the Q.D. fitting started to come free. In this case, the fitting port being pointed at the service writer (me), the geyser emanated immediately in my direction: nasty, brutish, and fortunately of small volume. Of course the customer was very sorry. Of course I keep a spare uniform at work for such contingencies. Of course I don't want to talk about it.
This morning we had no water at Castle Crowndot. It took me a while, first thing in the morning, to realize what was going on. Why is the cold water flow just a trickle? Why is the hot water making horrid noises? Why is there a small quantity of brown rusty fluid coming out of the faucet? Then the brain kicks in: "We must not have paid the water bill," the brain says. Stupid brain. It turned out that there had been a water main break half a mile down the hill. We live in earthquake country, and take our prep seriously, so there is always stored clean water. Well, you still have to make like a soldier in the field, but it can be done.
And it is still a day and a half until the new moon. My luck is always better after the new moon... Ya think?
6/05/2013
Eclipse
A couple nights ago I went out into the cool of the evening to stare at the starry night. A satellite appeared. (I live in the Future!) It is still amazing to me to see these tiny points of light making their progress across the sky. I watched it until...
Huh. It's gone. I must have taken my eye off it. Maybe it went behind a bit of cloud haze. Hey, there's another one and... Gone. Huh.
Silly me. I forgot that satellites are not "lights" like stars. I can see them because they are high enough up to reflect sunlight back to me. These satellites were traveling west-to-east, and had blinked out when they entered the earth's shadow. That explains it!
Huh. It's gone. I must have taken my eye off it. Maybe it went behind a bit of cloud haze. Hey, there's another one and... Gone. Huh.
Silly me. I forgot that satellites are not "lights" like stars. I can see them because they are high enough up to reflect sunlight back to me. These satellites were traveling west-to-east, and had blinked out when they entered the earth's shadow. That explains it!
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