Plumber's Nightmare(s)

During one of Tuesday night's all-too-brief REM cycles the feature film of the internal Crowndot Cinema was broken plumbing. In the dream, some kind of viscid bog water was gurgling up from behind the refrigerator.  It was purulent with a black, sooty cast to the bubbly surface.  A great deal of active cleanup was called for, and the family members each had their own idea as to how to proceed.  However, after application of instruments such as towels, shovels, and broken windshield-wipers, the area seemed to be clean and the hell-mouth closed.  The dream ended as I retired from the scene ready for a hot bath, only to meet the evil discharge cascading down from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom -- and, the morning alarm sounds to rescue me from another episode of refreshing sleep. 

A few hours later Tuesday morning I was drenched head to knee with hydraulic oil when I was not quite fast enough to tell a customer not to remove the quick-disconnect fitting from his broken ram.  He was dropping it off at the shop for repair, but decided (while my back was turned) that he would get his trusty adjustable spanner and take the Q.D. coupler home Right Now.  His ram was "Stuck" in the extended position, you see, and that model has an internal BFS (big freakin' spring) that sucks the rod back Right Now -- whether there's oil being pushed out or not -- once the Q.D. fitting started to come free.  In this case, the fitting port being pointed at the service writer (me), the geyser emanated immediately in my direction: nasty, brutish, and fortunately of small volume.  Of course the customer was very sorry.  Of course I keep a spare uniform at work for such contingencies.  Of course I don't want to talk about it. 

This morning we had no water at Castle Crowndot.  It took me a while, first thing in the morning, to realize what was going on.  Why is the cold water flow just a trickle?  Why is the hot water making horrid noises?  Why is there a small quantity of brown rusty fluid coming out of the faucet?  Then the brain kicks in:  "We must not have paid the water bill," the brain says.  Stupid brain.    It turned out that there had been a water main break half a mile down the hill.  We live in earthquake country, and take our prep seriously, so there is always stored clean water.  Well, you still have to make like a soldier in the field, but it can be done.

And it is still a day and a half until the new moon.  My luck is always better after the new moon...  Ya think?

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