I am the one who is unreasonable?

• Cover your mouth when you sneeze. Especially in the produce section.
• I don't object to your chewing gum.  I object to your doing it with your mouth open.
• You swing your car to the left, then hit your brakes and veer off into a right turn.  It's like signalling, in a way.  But you could try using your turn signal -- you know, those blinky light things.
• Yes, I know I am going too slow for you.  That's because this is an off ramp!  There's a 30 MPH curve coming up in less than an eighth of a mile.  Oh, I see you didn't want to exit here!  Bye!
• If you pick something up in the store and then decide not to buy it, put it back where you got it. Don't just put it up on a random shelf.  Especially if it's perishable!  Or give it to the checkout clerk -- really, they would rather you did.  
• When you ask me the price and I tell you the price, I am not open to giving you a wholesale price unless you want to talk wholesale quantities.  I don't dicker.  The more you try, the more the price is going to go up.  Where do you think you are, Casablanca?
• Spray painting other people's property is not art.  It is not Urban Art.  It is not Street Art.  It is vandalism.
• Politicians:  Leave me the hell alone.  
• No I don't want to hear about your Libertarian candidate.  
• No I don't want to hear about your fad diet.
• No I don't want to hear about how your friend knew somebody who beat cancer with fad diet.
• If you ask me about work I'm just going to say, "It's work. If it was Fun, they wouldn't call it Work."
• No I don't want to hear about your TV show.
• No I don't want to hear about your [some sport that involves pushing an object over or through a thing] team. 
• Rest assured that if your retired buddy emailed you a Really Funny Thing, I have already seen it on tumblr a few weeks ago.  
• I only say I want to accept  the things I cannot change.  I never said I would like  them.