"Smalls"

Yes, smalls.  In particular, men's smalls.  I know: too much information.

 Never. The. Less.

In the men's shorts world, there is choice of many unsatisfactory arrangements for the bottom half.  Boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs...  Within this world, the available products are made almost entirely by Hanes or by Fruit-of-the-Loom. 

H and FOL have demonstrated their misandry by introducing products for eunuchs, products for donkeys; products made of moisture-impervious materials, products made of industrial abrasives; products that bind in one place and are loose in another, products that are loose in one place and bind in another.  So there are lots of choices.  Without even getting into the choice between the products that fall apart after the first wash, and those that fall apart over the course of half a year of normal use. 

Yes I realize that there are more options if you want to think outside the box:  commando; athletic specialties / European designerwear; gay partywear ("not that there's anything wrong with that").  But those are either "for occasional use, only as directed" or far too pricey for this author to countenance the purchase of the eight to twelve units I like to have in stock. 

It occurs to me:  Hanes and Fruit-of-the-Loom are the Macintosh and Microsoft of the underwear world.  They both hate us, and it's just a question of which is the least uncomfortable fit.  Moreover, the great fit and function you bought last time is a.) not available any more;  b.) dumbed down to the point that it is now produced offshore so it looks like  the product you knew, but now with the added features of random dimensions, abrasive materials, and self-destruction in the laundry. 

H and FOL meet over a drink and smirk together.  "Where else are they gonna go?"  They slap each other on the back.  "Ubuntu?!"